tag:www.rokked.com,2008://1 2008-07-02T18:43:10Z Movable Type Open Source 4.1 tag:www.rokked.com,2008://1.244 2008-07-02T18:42:18Z 2008-07-02T18:43:10Z

Not really. But, imagine if you get off work one day and you're like, "Oh boy I'm gonna go jogging around Crissy Field and take in the views of the Golden Gate Bridge!" Then you put on your little spandex shants and cross trainers and head out to nature to get your fuckin' run on! It would probably be awesome to have your Ipod, cranked to 50 of something ridiculous and run your little heart out to some metal bands that's never gone running, that's probably ironic, I don't really know the meaning of ironic, I just know it has nothing to do with that one song by that Canadian bitch. So you're like running along, and the suns kinda setting and its like OMIGAWD SO PURRFECT! And then basically, I'm there, not knowing wtf I'm doing on a bicycle and I'm riding on the sidewalk and I'm about to shit all over your parade. See, I went on some inhuman rampage of a ride yesterday and on the 2nd leg of the ride, I started looking backwards, while riding forwards on a sidewalk, because I wanted to find a friend that was with me. This girl was running forwards and looking forwards, but see the catch is, I was behind her. Now imagine you're running along and your favorite song is about to hit its chorus for the 9th time when suddenly you're mounted by a bunch of steel and rubber that just doesn't give a flying FUCK. And then obviously you're knocked to the ground and then some hipster asian dumbfuck falls all over you. That was some random chicks night last night. And I made it happen! I feel/felt really super bad and I was sorta just trying to do too much at once and totally NAILED this chick! She was ok. Wasn't hurt too bad. I'm ok, banged up my knee. She jogged off because goddamnit, if she didn't make it to the bridge then the terrorists win! I biked another 10 miles up hill to Legion of Honor and past the cliff house and through Golden Gate park and then got drruuuunnnnnnk. Today my knee feels like ass rape. However on the plus, I think that qualifies for a CL Missed Connection!! I should really get brakes on this thing.

tag:www.rokked.com,2008://1.243 2008-06-30T21:11:01Z 2008-06-30T21:11:41Z

A maple bar, which I just found out were called Maple Bars. I always thought they were the bastard step child of the eclairs and tasted nothing of maple. I don't even know what maple tastes like, but I'm positive it wasn't the taste of this tan skinned bitch of an eclair. (read: éclair, isnt eclair a girl's name? fucking pansy ass donut shaped like a reallllllly big dick!) I also ate an Old Fashioned. I always called them the fried donut, but I guess that's redundant. I ate half a bear claw and then a jelly filled donut. I also went to get some lunch and just roamed around retarded and distracted at my now bloating face and guts. I feel like that one movie with the fat guy running around downtown with the Ghostbusters! Like yowza fat boy lay off the donuts already! If you know anything about me, then you know I fucking hate donuts, I actually bought them for the office and then I ate them myself! I have no self control, I'm going to do some heroine, once i fucking LEARN HOW!!!

tag:www.rokked.com,2008://1.242 2008-06-30T21:03:53Z 2008-06-30T21:07:50Z

Ouch! I dislocated my shoulder! (RETARD) I'm such a fucking retard, even when I have health insurance I flip through those PPO printouts from the health insurance assholes that list, in no fucking order, doctors that either don't take new patients or doctors that don't accept PPO or doctors that don't speak English. What's with doctors in San Francisco speaking everything but English? One doctor contradicted himself about a knee injury once, because obviously he could give a flying fuck. This guy was probably more drunk than me the day before. So I was riding this new bike that I got, which is totally fucking stupid of me to have because I'm barely not even 20 anymore but I have it and boy do I fail hard on the thing. So I'm riding up a hill and fall face first on my face. I didn't hit anyone, nope, the two times I've fallen hard on this bike have involved no contact but my face and the street. So I fell in front of a bunch of tourists and they rush over to laugh at me. I pick me bike and my ego up off the street and head into work. I always do this. Once I got attacked by a little fucker of a dog and just walked away instead of suing the botox outta the Berkeley whore that owned him. I always just cowboy up and clear the scene like a chump. So there I am at a work meeting and I'm messing around with my shoulder while my co-workers talk about stuff that doesnt really concern me. Then all of a sudden my shoulder pops back into place with this disgusting slurrping sound. It was a relief until I started piecing together what just happened. Then I felt like blowing chunks. So I left the meetings. The best part about having to hurl your fucking guts at my work while in a meeting is you have to leave one office, go into another office and grab a bathroom key. It's like that David Cross joke where you really want to fuck that random girl in the middle of the street because it's all passionate and you don't want her at your apartment, but you take her there anyway. Except I'm about to spray vomit all over the hall way, and I'm way too good looking to do something like that, without being really drunk and really famous. Anyway I make it into the bathroom and pee instead. What the fuck is wrong with me? So here I am, here with this newly dislocated shoulder and my coworkers telling me I'd be in a lot more pain if I'd actually dislocated the shoulder. Like some dude working at a non-profit is suddenly the expert witness on how much pain someone should be going through. Like fucking right? It was dislocated or it was out of socket, it was not right. I'm such an idiot for not signing up for COBRA before getting axed from my previous job. I also didn't take the stock options because they're complete failures over there. I'd have a better investment getting a hooker pregnant than buying into that sunken balsa wood battleship. So here I am, last night I played kickball with a bunch of strangers, did I mention the fact that I need friends? Fuck you if you didn't know that. I also went on some 20 mile bike ride, all the while my shoulder is pounding my body with waves of fucking PAIN. But I'm going to ignore it because that's how reals I keeps it. I figure another 30 days of stupidity and I can flip through the pages of some randomly laid out PPO to find a doctor that'll tell me my shoulder pain is caused by stress and I need more valerian root in my diet. I swear to god if that happens I'm tipping over his scale and punching his receptionist square in the face!

tag:www.rokked.com,2008://1.241 2008-06-27T21:58:56Z 2008-06-27T22:04:34Z

This is my first blog entry, and I just wanted the internet that I believe all my asian kinfolk look exactly alike. Luckily for me I'm only asian from the waist down. Wait fuck. Welcome to Rokked, this website will disappoint the shit out of you. Theres a dead message board that I killed with my two BEAR hands. That's right I don't clip my finger nails because it's a waste of time!

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